so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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