you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need moral support for this bender
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
