with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize