Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize