god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
