dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
