i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
