It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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