Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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