He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
