oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
