He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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