But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
