Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize