I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
