why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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