is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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