I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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