Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
