next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
