my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ttyl tear gas
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
