I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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