Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize