are you still at the devil's house?
barbara walters just said penis...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
