I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
