I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Quick, to the slutcave!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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