I'm lost and stupid without you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He passed out mid-signature
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
