hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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