not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Terrible idea I love it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
