i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you made out with another girl for some wings
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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