He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize