so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize