Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
