Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
