An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
