The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
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If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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