His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
