My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
