i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
