Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
