remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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