just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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