Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize