i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
