Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
