I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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