I hate all girls vehemently.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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