We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
