guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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