he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
