You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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