Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
