ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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