we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
