miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
