As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
