A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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