Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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