U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
