Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize