I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
