I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
