I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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