the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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