pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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